In higher education, many of us are here because we care deeply and wholeheartedly about students, the mission of our institution, our teams, and the communities that make our work meaningful. This caring gives purpose to our days and shapes the values we bring to our roles. The same deep investment that fuels our passion can also leave us vulnerable to burnout.
One lens I turn to in these moments is ego extension, the psychological experience of seeing our work, roles, ideas, and relationships as extensions of ourselves. We sometime connect ego extension with the feeling that I am valued, I am seen, I make a difference. When people experience this, their engagement deepens, and ego extension grows from that feeling of significance.
But ego extension isn’t limited to tangible accomplishments. It can expand into abstract commitments, such as our identity, our beliefs, our values, and even symbols or traditions we hold dear. When someone critiques our profession or questions its value, it can feel personal, not because of insecurity, but because our identity is woven into our work.
The joy we sometimes accidentally steal
In our roles as staff, faculty, colleagues, supervisors, and leaders, we often encourage others to establish healthy boundaries, which is important and necessary. Yet sometimes, in the spirit of protection, we unintentionally steal joy by discouraging someone from taking on something they genuinely love, such as volunteering for extra responsibilities, tackling new projects, or contributing beyond what is required.
As leaders, we walk a delicate balance, and ask ourselves: How do we support sustainable habits without dampening the joy that comes from meaningful ego extension? We can do both by encouraging boundaries and supporting the authentic joy people feel in their contributions. It is not either/or. It is a practice of noticing what drives someone and supporting it without letting them overextend.
How we bring ourselves to work
When we celebrate a colleague or friend’s success or check in after their setbacks, it reinforces that the individual’s journey matters. When leaders celebrate staff and faculty achievements, notice efforts, and offer support when obstacles arise, it communicates that both their work and well-being matter. When colleagues acknowledge leadership wins or extend compassion during challenges, leaders experience belonging within the mission, not isolation at the top.
Recently, I was reminded of this in a simple human moment when a staff member said hello. We chatted, and they remarked that it had been a while since they’d seen me. I apologized, explaining that this year had been particularly demanding. They nodded kindly and then went on to name the many initiatives underway, a quiet acknowledgment of just how much is being carried out and how deeply these efforts support our already thriving agency.
Why share this moment? Because it’s a beautiful example of a time when I felt seen and my work matter. The staff member’s acknowledgment, their understanding, and their appreciation were reminders that leadership is part of a shared mission, not a solitary endeavor. We do not pursue leadership for praise, but when someone recognizes the work, it reinforces our own experience of being seen. It strengthens our ego extension as it relates to our work identity.
Balancing joy, commitment, and well-being
So how do we preserve joy while preventing burnout?
- Allow others to find joy in their work, even in extra work. If someone lights up at the chance to take something on, our role is to support them and help them tailor their workload to their passion areas while ensuring it doesn’t come at the cost of their well-being.
- Encourage healthy habits while differentiating joy and overextension. An additional meaningful project can be stressful and nourishing. Allow ebbs and flows in people’s workload as they take on an extra project while helping them to identify the work tasks to delegate, lessen, or streamline.
- Create spaces where colleagues can express what drives them. When we understand what gives someone energy, we better support their sustainability. Students, staff, faculty, and leaders all benefit from being seen, understood, and valued.
- Celebrate people for who they are, not just what they produce. Recognition strengthens mattering while keeping ego extension rooted in healthy soil.
Our campus thrives because people care about their work and about each other. By understanding ego extension and the role mattering plays within it, we can build a culture where:
- Joy in contribution is celebrated.
- Healthy boundaries are respected.
- Burnout is prevented through shared responsibility.
When we support one another’s joy and well-being, we strengthen not only individuals but the community that binds us together.
Photo credit: Jon Flobrant on Unsplash