If the title of this column has you feeling uncomfortable, you’re not alone. My favorite scene in the Barbie movie is when Barbie and her friends are dancing and having a great time until Barbie blurts out, “Do you guys ever think about dying?”

     Suddenly, the music stops, and everyone stares at Barbie with uncomfortable looks on their faces. Barbie realizes her gaffe, changes the subject, and they happily go on dancing. It’s a humorous scene because it feels so relatable: Who would say such a thing?

There is stigma around talking about death. But why?

     We know all living things die. Fear of the unknown, anxiety about pain and suffering, along with the burden of grief and the finality of death make talking about dying difficult. Yet having these conversations eases our anxiety about it. Talking about death also leads to clarity in our own purpose for life and a stronger motivation to live our lives well. 

If you have wanted to talk about death but don’t know how to start, here are some strategies to help:

• Death can be a difficult topic to bring up, so look for natural ways to open the conversation. Be sure you have enough time to talk and that you are in an environment where you can hear well and feel comfortable. Death conversations can bring out big emotions, so talk in a relaxed and supportive environment.
• Talk with close friends and family about what a good death means to you. For example, some people want to die at home in familiar surroundings while others may feel more comfortable in a hospice home. Be open about any fears or questions you have.
• Make a will that lets your loved ones know of your wishes after you’re gone. Wills remove the guesswork and tough decision-making placed on your loved ones at a time when they feel overwhelmed with loss. Let your loved ones know about it and how to access it.
• Attend a death café. Death cafés are community gatherings where anyone can talk openly about their questions or fears about death. While not a grief support group, a death café is a good way to explore cultural and social norms around dying and why we view death the way we do.  
• Learn about hospice services in your area. Hospice provides care and support for individuals and their families facing terminal illness. Knowing about resources before you need them brings reassurance and clarity should a terminal illness or death occur.

     Death is a natural part of life and talking about it should not be a taboo or a strange thing. This isn’t to say that death is easy to face. It can be scary, tragic, and entirely unwanted, which can make conversations about it feel daunting. By talking about it and sharing fears and wishes, we can bring a renewed sense of purpose and connection in our lives that bring deeper meaning to everyday living.

Cover image by Katarzyna Grabowska.