When I was first asked to write this article, I couldn’t resist playing a little joke. I replied to the email with a single word: “No.” After waiting a short while—long enough for my point to sink in but not so long that the sender might think I was serious—I followed up with, “Just kidding! I’m practicing the art of saying no…lol.”

    While it was all in good fun, the moment gave me pause. Even though I knew it was a joke, I felt compelled to respond quickly with clarification because just saying ‘no’ felt rude.

    Saying ‘no,’ even in jest, can feel uncomfortable. But learning to say ‘no’—to set boundaries and prioritize our well-being—is essential.

A personal 'no'

    Right now, I’m learning to manage one of the biggest nos of my life: stepping away from a career I love. As I begin to phase into retirement from teaching, I’m saying ‘no’ to a job that has been a true calling. Teaching college students has been an honor and a privilege, and deciding to step back hasn’t been easy—even though it’s my choice. I’m saying ‘no’ to this part of my life to say ‘yes’ to others: spending more time with my family, traveling, and exploring passions I’ve set aside for too long.

    It feels like giving up something I love dearly for other things I love dearly. And honestly, it’s hard to digest. Even when a no is the right decision, it doesn’t mean it’s an easy one. The guilt, the feeling that I might be letting someone down, can be overwhelming. But I’m learning to see this no in a new light—not as an ending, but as an opening.

Reframing the guilt

    Here’s what I’m beginning to understand: When we say ‘no’ thoughtfully and intentionally, we’re not just making space for ourselves—we’re creating opportunities for others. By stepping back, I’m opening a place for someone else to step in, perhaps someone for whom teaching college students will become their calling. Maybe my no is exactly what someone else needs to find their yes.

    This perspective doesn’t erase the difficulty of saying ‘no,’ but it makes it a little easier to accept. It reminds me that setting boundaries isn’t about quitting or failing. It’s about making room for what truly matters, both for ourselves and for others.

The power of intentional nos

    Saying ‘no’ isn’t about rejecting opportunities; it’s about choosing them wisely. Every no is a chance to preserve our energy and focus for the things we value most. And while it might feel uncomfortable in the moment, the long-term benefits are undeniable. When we set boundaries, we protect our mental health, foster balance in our lives, and often make space for others to thrive.

    So the next time you’re faced with a decision, remember that saying ‘no’ can be the kindest, most generous thing you do—for yourself and for those around you. And who knows? It might even inspire a little humor along the way.

 Cover image by Getty Images Signature.