In the hustle and bustle of campus life, emotions often move as quickly as we do. We face challenges, opportunities, and frustrations that ignite our emotional centers, sometimes intensely.

     Whether it’s a student conflict, meeting a deadline, or the sting of a less than thoughtful comment or action, our emotions are constantly in motion and sometimes we feel the impulse to react immediately. What we know is there is even more power in pausing, sitting with our emotions, and intentionally considering our response. When we give ourselves room to let our emotions naturally deescalate, we save ourselves lots of energy, having to clean-up after the fact, and we can maintain of our integrity.

You Will Feel My Wrath!

     Let’s face it, our emotional reactions are lightning fast. They happen reflexively, prompted by interactions, context, and lived experiences. On campus, where emotional complexity thrives, immediate responses, fueled by high emotion, can complicate things. A sharp email response, a quick judgment, or an abrupt decision lead to escalation, adding stress for you and everyone else.

The Power of the Pause

     Please don’t misunderstand, pausing does not mean ignoring or suppressing emotions. Quite the opposite. When we remind ourselves we have the option to pause and give ourselves time and space to observe, we can turn our powerful intellect onto our emotions for increased understanding. After all, emotions are the keepers of information about our needs, concerns, and values. When we sit with them, we listen and reflect more on next best steps. The pause between stimulus and response is the chance to “manage how we feel” rather than “being managed by how we feel.”

     Frustrated after receiving an email that was critical of your performance? We may act on our immediate reaction, write a hasty reply, or vent way too openly to a colleague. If we pause and tolerate emotion, our intellect slowly provides insight to respond more effectively. We may realize a criticism is valid, providing opportunity for growth, or we may decide we need to clarify boundaries with another person. With a pause, our response becomes more deliberate and effective.

OK, Big Talk, But How Do I Actually Do This?

Like any skill, pausing takes practice and patience. Here are practical steps:

1. Sit still a moment and just notice
Identify what emotions are present. Exasperation? Sad? Excited? Confused? Naming emotion is simple, though not easy. It is a powerful step in understanding our experiences. Emotions are complex and nuanced, so it is OK if they seem hard to initially name.

2. Check yo’ self
Zoom in on physical sensations that accompany our emotions. Tension in our shoulders, racing heart, or butterflies signal underlying emotion. Recognizing these sensations helps us tune into what we are feeling before we react.

3. Breathe and pause: Rinse and repeat
Take a few breaths when emotions rise. Slow, intentional breathing activates our parasympathetic nervous system, helping calm us. Even a few moments of breathing make a difference.

4. Gossip with yourself to explore feelings
Consciously ask what triggered this feeling. Is it tied to personal expectation or value? Does the situation make you think of past experiences? Understanding the roots of our emotions helps us respond more directly and compassionately.

5. Life is like a box of chocolates
Consider different ways of responding. Which response reflects the person you want to be in the situation? Taking a moment to think before acting reveals options we did not previously consider.

6. Know when to fold ‘em
Seek support when emotions are particularly intense and persistent. Talking with a colleague, therapist, or friend provides perspective, empathy, and insight. A fresh perspective can help us clarify feelings and make grounded decisions.

     Imagine a campus where, instead of reacting, we listen carefully to one another and approach each other with empathy and patience. This does not mean there are no difficult conversations or intense emotions. It does mean we approach them with foundations of respect, understanding, and self-awareness.

     Embracing the pause and sitting with our emotions will not happen overnight. It is a process of building self-awareness and trusting the benefits of mindfulness. Every step in this practice can contribute to a healthier, more resilient, and connected campus environment. By pausing and reflecting, we model emotional intelligence and compassion for ourselves, our colleagues, and our students.

     Next time you feel waves of emotion, whether you like how it feels or not, give yourself the gift of a pause. In doing so, you can create space for clarity, patience, and intention.

Cover image by AndreyPopov via Getty Images.