Winter used to be my favorite season as a child. Being outdoors in the snow was something I looked forward to all year: skiing, sledding, snow forts, exploring snowy woods. The sense of awe about winter was replaced in adulthood by a sense of dread. Winters felt cold and dreary, and I would count down the days until the sun promised to be up longer than I was at work every day.
There may be excitement about one of the many winter holidays, or maybe there is dread about long, cold nights, difficult commutes to work, or high heating bills. Inevitably, winter will be ours soon. For some of us, winter may bring a different kind of physical or emotional struggle. There may be the recurrence of Seasonal Affective Disorder, depression that is triggered by shortened days and longer nights that can make this season especially tough for people. There may also be increased sadness about experiencing the holidays without loved ones, or the sense that another year has gone by without fulfillment of hopes and dreams.
A few years ago, I decided I needed a new perspective: How could I approach winter differently? What are the gifts of the winter season?
One of the tools that helped with this perspective change was reading the book “Wintering,” by Katherine May. May writes about the act of “wintering,” which she defines as “a season in the cold.” May’s book is not only a reflection about the winter season, but is a deep dive into the metaphorical winters in our lives that are not bound by the natural seasons. These are periods where we slow down and conserve energy because we are forced to do so by illness, grief, or significant transitions. May looks at what we can learn from nature about tried-and-true ways to approach our wintering seasons (and actual winters): Conserving energy, resting, being quiet, waiting, and preparing for new growth.
These all sound pleasant, simple, and straightforward but they may not be. We have a proclivity to struggle against what we cannot control. The ability to push back is crucially important in many aspects of life and is a survival skill. However, there are times when acceptance, not struggle, is the way to deal with life.
In this case, accepting natural cycles, like seasons, allows us to open to the full experience of it instead of spending precious energy avoiding, being distracted from, or pushing against it. What does this shift from struggling against to acceptance look like?
For me, it means adapting some of what May wrote about as my own version of “wintering:”
- Openness: Be open to the experience of the natural season (or one of life’s many other wintering challenges). I remind myself that I do not have to like it to be in it. I focus on what the experience can teach me. And I focus on accepting what is rather than what it should be.
- Rest: This is a gift directly from the dark nights and the cold days of the winter season: Permission to slow down, do less, sit more, and sleep longer, if possible.
- Ritual: What specific rituals come with winter or that could be developed during a specific wintering season of one’s life? What grounds you on a daily basis? Ideas might include looking into the Hygge movement (creating cozy and comfortable spaces and experiences), reflecting on what you did during winters as a child that are still possible now, or learning about how different cultures approach winter rituals.
I am still not happy about the long, dark nights of winter and the Iowa cold that inevitably will come again this year. I claim the right to be upset with the challenging wintering seasons in life as they come—uninvited,—and go. I know that winter brings gifts that other seasons don’t. There are gifts in the “wintering” that I do not want to miss.
(If you struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder or Major Depressive Disorder, please seek support and professional help using the resources below).
For more information on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/seasonal-affective-disorder
UI Health and Well-Being Resource Guide: https://hr.uiowa.edu/employee-well-being/livewell/health-and-well-being-resource-guide.
UI Employee Assistance Program: visit the UI EAP web page.
Resources:
Leibowitz, K. (2024). How to winter: Harness your mindset to thrive on cold, dark, or difficult days. Penguin Life.
May, K. (2020). Wintering: The power of rest and retreat in difficult times. Random House.
Cover image by Alain Wong.